What is "The Ick"?

That sudden cringe feeling that ruins everything. Where it came from, why it happens, and why you can't shake it once it hits.

You've probably heard someone say "I got the ick" and instantly knew what they meant. Or maybe you've felt it yourself – that moment where attraction just... dies. No warning. No logic. Just gone.

The ick is one of those feelings that's hard to explain but impossible to ignore. And once you've experienced it, the word makes perfect sense.

The Definition

The ick is a sudden feeling of disgust or cringe toward someone you were attracted to. It's triggered by something specific – usually small, often weird – and after it happens, you can't see that person the same way again.

It's not the same as losing interest gradually. The ick is instant. One second you're into them. The next second? You're done. And you probably can't even fully explain why.

"When you've seen a boy and got the ick, it doesn't go. It's caught you. It's taken over your body. It's just ick." — Olivia Attwood, Love Island UK 2017

Where "The Ick" Came From

The term actually showed up on Ally McBeal back in 1999. There's an episode where Ally talks about a guy giving her "the ick" – this unexplainable turn-off that she couldn't shake. It made perfect sense then, but the term didn't really catch on.

Fast forward to 2017. Love Island UK. Olivia Attwood uses the phrase to describe her sudden loss of attraction to Sam Gowland. The way she described it – like a virus that takes over your body – hit different. People got it immediately.

Then TikTok happened. By 2020, "the ick" videos were everywhere. People listing their icks. Sharing stories about getting the ick. Debating whether certain things should give you the ick. It became one of those terms that just clicked with a generation trying to put words to dating experiences that felt impossible to explain before.

Why Do We Get The Ick?

Psychologists have some theories. None of them are proven, but they make sense:

It might be a defense mechanism

Your brain picks up on something – maybe an incompatibility you weren't consciously aware of – and hits the brakes hard. The ick could be your gut telling you this isn't the one, using disgust as the messenger because that's harder to ignore.

The honeymoon fog lifts

Early attraction is basically your brain on chemicals. You overlook things. You see the best version of someone. Eventually that fog clears. Sometimes what's underneath is fine. Sometimes it's... ick.

Pattern recognition

That weird thing they did might remind you (consciously or not) of something from a past bad experience. A way an ex ate. How your annoying cousin laughs. The brain connects dots you don't even see.

It could just be random

Honestly? Sometimes there's no deep reason. You saw them run for the bus and now you can't unsee it. Brains are weird.

Common Icks People Talk About

The internet has crowdsourced thousands of icks at this point. Some of the classics:

Some of these are silly. Some aren't. The point is that icks are personal. What destroys attraction for one person is completely fine for someone else.

Can You Get Over The Ick?

This is the question everyone asks. Short answer: sometimes, but usually not.

If the ick came from something genuinely trivial and you recognize that it's your issue, you might be able to work through it. Therapy-brain people call this "challenging the thought." You saw him trip, felt the ick, then reminded yourself that tripping is human and it doesn't actually matter. Maybe the ick fades.

But most of the time? The ick sticks. And a lot of people would argue that's okay – even useful. If something about a person genuinely puts you off, forcing yourself to ignore that feeling isn't great for anyone long-term.

A way to think about it: The ick might be your brain's shortcut for "this isn't going to work." Not always right, but often worth paying attention to.

The Ick vs. Red Flags

These aren't the same thing.

Red flags are warning signs about someone's character or behavior – things like being controlling, dishonest, or disrespectful. Red flags are about real problems.

The ick is usually more... superficial? Random? It's about how someone drinks their coffee, not whether they're a good person. You can get the ick from someone who's perfectly nice. You can also miss major red flags while being attracted to someone terrible.

Both matter, but they're measuring different things.

Using The Ick Intentionally

Here's something interesting that took off on TikTok: giving yourself the ick on purpose.

Stuck on someone who's not into you? Can't stop thinking about an ex? Some people recommend imagining them doing ick-inducing things. Picture them running for a bus. Falling off a bike. Saying "hubby" unironically. Keep going until the mental image overrides the attraction.

Does it work? Mixed results. But people swear by it for getting over crushes that aren't going anywhere.

Speaking of Finding Things Out...

The Ick App shows you who your crush, partner, or anyone else recently followed on Instagram. Sometimes the truth gives you the ick. Sometimes it doesn't. Either way, you'll know.

Learn More

The Cultural Moment

Why did "the ick" blow up when it did? Probably a few reasons.

Dating apps made meeting people easier but also more transactional. When you can swipe to the next person in seconds, you don't push through weird feelings the way people used to. The ick gives a name to that quick "nope" instinct.

Gen Z is also big on naming things. Situationships. Beige flags. Breadcrumbing. Having words for relationship dynamics makes them easier to discuss, share, and process. The ick fit right into that vocabulary.

And let's be real – it's relatable content. Everyone has icks. Talking about them is funny and cathartic. It works on TikTok. It works at brunch. It works everywhere people discuss dating.

So Is The Ick... Good?

Depends on how you look at it.

On one hand, it might protect you from wasting time on people who aren't right for you. Attraction matters. Forcing yourself to stay with someone who lowkey grosses you out isn't fair to either of you.

On the other hand, being too quick with the ick might mean you're not giving people a real chance. Everyone has awkward moments. If every minor thing triggers a permanent turn-off, you might be looking for someone who doesn't exist.

The balance is somewhere in the middle. Pay attention to the ick, but also examine it. Is this a real incompatibility? Or are you just looking for an exit?

Either way, at least now you have a word for it.